When most people hear the term “inner child,” they think of a younger version of themselves one frozen in time, often wounded, needing care. But inner child work is so much more than revisiting your past. It’s a practice of reconnecting to the parts of you that never stopped needing your love, your presence, and your permission to feel.
Inner child work sits within the broader modality of parts work, which is based on the understanding that we are not one static identity, but a constellation of parts (each with its own needs, emotions, and coping mechanisms).
This is not about being “broken” or fragmented. It’s about recognizing that your system is intelligent. Every part of you developed for a reason, and when we start listening, rather than silencing, we begin to heal.
What Is Parts Work?
Parts work is rooted in Internal Family Systems (IFS) theory, developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz, and echoed in the psychodynamic teachings of Carl Jung, who referred to these “parts” as subpersonalities or archetypes within the psyche.
In this framework, we all have multiple inner parts, including protectors, managers, critics, exiles, and at the core of many emotional struggles is a part of us that carries unprocessed pain: the inner child.
Who Is Your Inner Child?
Dr. Nicole LePera (also known as the Holistic Psychologist) outlines several types of inner children we may carry within us. You might recognize yourself in one or more of these:
- The Abandoned Child: Fears rejection or being left behind. This part may become clingy in relationships or avoidant to prevent more pain.
- The Playful Child: Curious, imaginative, joyful. Often suppressed in perfectionists or high achievers.
- The Scared Child: Hypervigilant and anxious, always preparing for the worst.
- The Pleaser: Believes love must be earned. Avoids conflict at all costs.
- The Perfectionist: Feels worthy only when achieving, often harsh and self-critical.
Jung would say these are archetypal energies aka. universal psychological patterns that exist in the collective unconscious. They show up in our dreams, behaviors, relationships, and responses to stress.
Why This Matters: The Psychology of Reparenting
When our inner child is wounded, we may unknowingly relive early experiences of fear, shame, or abandonment in our adult lives. This can manifest as:
- Overreactions to seemingly minor triggers
- Imposter syndrome
- Fear of failure or rejection
- Chronic anxiety or people-pleasing
- Numbing behaviors (overeating, scrolling, overworking)
Inner child work allows us to reparent ourselves to meet the needs that went unmet. Note: This is not about blaming our caregivers! It’s about stepping into the role of the adult we needed back then.
Neuroscience shows that the brain has remarkable neuroplasticity (the capacity to rewire itself through intentional practices). By revisiting early emotional wounds with compassion and new tools, we create new pathways of safety, self-trust, and emotional regulation (cue the big exhale).
How to Start Inner Child Work
- Tune In: Notice moments when you feel emotionally heightened or “not like yourself.” That’s often your inner child speaking.
- Name the Part: Is this the scared child? The pleaser? The perfectionist? Naming builds awareness.
- Validate: “I see you. I know this feels hard.” Validation is often more healing than fixing.
- Offer What Was Missing: Ask, “What do you need right now?” and offer it whether it’s rest, reassurance, boundaries, or play.
Though inner child work may sound abstract, its effects are very real.
Research has shown that practices of self-compassion and emotional processing significantly reduce anxiety, depression, and shame-related disorders.¹ Studies on IFS therapy have shown it improves emotional resilience, decision-making, and self-leadership.²
In essence: when we heal the child, we free the adult.
Final Thoughts
Your inner child doesn’t need to be “fixed.” She just wants to be seen. She’s been doing her best to keep you safe all this time, and that’s something to honour. It’s only now that her protective patterns might be keeping you stuck in cycles that no longer serve who you’re becoming.
When we welcome back the parts we’ve exiled, whether scared, silly, needy, or creative, we return to a deeper wholeness.
And from that place? We stop overperforming to be worthy.
We stop outsourcing our value.
We remember we’ve always been enough.
References
Neff, K. D., & Germer, C. K. (2013). A pilot study and randomized controlled trial of the Mindful Self‐Compassion program. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 69(1), 28–44.
Roediger, E., et al. (2022). Internal Family Systems Therapy for treating complex trauma: A meta-analytic review. Journal of Contemporary Psychotherapy, 52, 205–218.
About the Author
Ariana Rodriguez is the co-founder of Seekr Wellness, an award-winning entrepreneur in Women’s Mental Health Innovation, and a leader in the UK wellness space. A specialist Mental Health Registered Dietitian, she holds a Master of Science in Nutrition from McGill University and a Master of Arts in Psychology in Education from Columbia University’s Spirit Mind Body Institute.
As a 200-hour Registered Yoga Teacher and Certified Intuitive Eating Counsellor, Ariana bridges modern science with holistic wisdom. She’s trained in Positive Psychology, CBT, ACT, EFT, Reiki, and NLP—supporting deep mind-body-spirit alignment. Through her work, she helps others access Emotional Resilience, Spiritual Intelligence, and Self-Worth, beyond physical wellness, for a meaningful and authentic life.
Connect with Ariana and the Seekr community on Instagram: @seekrwellness
Join us for two upcoming transformational experiences:
May 15: Cacao Ceremony to Lead With Your Heart During Times of Change
May 22: Return to the Feminine: A Somatic Embodiment Ritual to Heal the Wounded Feminine
And be sure to check out our other blog:
Out of Your Head, Into Your Body: Somatic Embodiment for Nervous System Regulation
